I’ve had two cringey fashion/beauty moments in NYC, the city with the world’s coolest people. Today, I’m sharing one of them.
It happened a long time ago. In 2014. My sister Jamie and I were in town for a party in her honour. She, a “devastatingly-talented illustrator” as Coveteur called her, had just become an ambassador for Dior (which basically meant she’d work with them on special projects and get some great free stuff), and the team was throwing her an intimate dinner party in the Dior suite at the St. Regis Hotel. I was her plus one, and the other eight spots on the guest list were filled by Manhattan’s finest fashion elite, like Taylor Tomasi Hill,
, and Derek Blasberg.Now, Jamie was all set to fit in: The Dior team was lending her a dress and taking care of her hair and makeup. I, on the other hand, was left to fend for myself.
I wanted a look that would pair well with Jamie’s in photos. She’d be wearing a floral strapless mini stunner by Raf Simons (creative director of Dior at the time). I decided to go with a new fit-and-flare dress in a watercolour print from Ted Baker (first mistake) and pair it with a black Ted Baker evening bag (second mistake), black Nine West pointy-toe shoes (third mistake), and gold Club Monaco jewellery (fourth mistake).
The day of the party, Jamie and I arrived early at the Dior suite to get ready. While a hair and makeup artist tended to her, I curled my hair in Victoria’s Secret-inspired waves (fifth mistake) and had a thought: I should get my makeup done professionally. I left the suite and went to the closest place that had an opening—Sephora (sixth mistake).
I got a “complimentary makeover,” a term that today sounds incredibly sad and completely terrifying. What was worse, I didn’t know “complimentary makeover” actually meant “test pad.” The ArTiSt used my face to practise every technique she learned in beauty school. The result? Every feature was a focal point. My skin? Contoured! My eyes? Over-lined with ombré lids! My lashes? Extended! My lips? Painted poppy red! My brows? Statementy! I was Marge Simpson, after being shot by the makeup gun.
“Oh no,” Jamie said when she saw my face. I wiped off as much as I could but didn’t have time to redo my makeup completely. The guests arrived soon after: Taylor Tomasi Hill in her fringed jeans and patchwork heels; Hannah Bronfman in mixed prints and two-tone platforms; Leandra Medine in jeans and a blazer; Atlanta de Cadenet in a fit and flare like me, but hers was black—and Alaïa. I could see the problem with my look, and it wasn’t just my caked-on face: I was more basic blogger ready to take a staged pic for the ‘gram; they were more streetstyle star secretly hoping to be snapped between fashion shows.
But the reason their looks worked and mine didn’t wasn’t just because their clothes were more casual or designer, or their makeup was less paint gun-y—it was that their looks were equal parts undone yet polished; not basic and also not try-hard. What’s more, every piece they wore, from their mixed-and-matched garments to interesting accessories, was unique in some way and looked like it came straight out of their wardrobe, helping to give them a more authentic, relaxed feel.
It was a good (albeit cringey) lesson to learn, and something I think of every time I get ready for literally anywhere now: Don’t look so eager! I think about it a lot in Paris, where women’s clothes are almost never fussed over, but lived-in, as is their hair and makeup. It’s been a great place to shake any remaining overzealous fashion and beauty tendencies—and spot them on others because guess what? Most American tourists in Paris today are me at that Dior party. (Black bouclé jackets, curled locks, and poppy red lipstick? Mais non! C’est trop cliché! )
Can your look feel a little eager at times? Below, five reasons for that and what to do about it.
Your hair and/or makeup is too done
If you’re doing VS waves or a Dyson blowout, go light with makeup to balance out the look. When in doubt, choose one or the other. If you want a bolder makeup look, do like La Collection creative director Florence Cools and pair it with messier hair. TikTok-famous stylist Allison Bornstein often talks about “messing up” an outfit—pushing up sleeves, having an imperfect tuck (more on that next)—but it’s also true about hair and makeup. She says the undone-ness adds personality and is more dynamic, and that certainly rings true with hair that’s windblown or lipstick that was applied a bit smudgy with a finger.
Your pieces look fresh-out-of-the-box
I often think about these wonderful lines from Olivia Stren’s essay for The Kit on old J.Crew catalogues: “The clothes were never tensely starched but slightly crinkled as if by a brisk breeze, their colours slightly faded, as if the garments themselves had just returned from a relaxed weekend scalloping in Maine. Crispness betrayed effort, and effort was for strivers—outsiders.” While your ironing skills may be impressive, they could be the reason your outfit looks eager. Ditch the perfectly pressed pieces and opt for relaxed ones, like influencer and owner of Paris store Crimson, Linda Wright.
Your accessories are generic
The reason Bornstein’s Wrong Shoe Theory is so popular is that choosing the unlikely shoe to wear with an outfit (and not, say, a ladylike pointed toe heel with a ladylike fit-and-flare dress) and handbag makes an outfit more interesting, less predictable. The same holds true for jewellery. Think less mass-produced Mejuri croissant collection, and more unique pieces you picked up at street stalls while on vacation or from a local jeweller in your neighbourhood and wear on repeat. “Creating a consistent jewellery story acts as a through-line that exists in all your looks and gives them consistency and personality,” says Bornstein. For inspo, look to
—she’s a pro at taking super traditional pieces and adding elements that feel very her (and Carrie Bradshaw, for that matter). I love this chunky gold statement ring she wears on her index finger to elevate her basics.You shopped specifically for an event
I have another quote to share. This one’s from Emma Cline’s book The Guest, and it haunts me once in a while: “The girl wore a long floral dress that looked brand new, probably purchased expressly for this trip.” That’s eager. Instead, of shopping for a certain event, what’s better is building a collection of pieces you love and styling them with jackets and accessories to make them work for any occasion. Also, find one really fantastic go-to piece you’re happy to wear on repeat—like Camille Charrière’s LBD.
You’re wearing too many trends
To prevent looking like a fashion victim (remember that term?), wear one really good piece, maybe two, and let it shine by mixing it with old reliables. Fellow Substacker
does this well. She took the super trendy pink suede Prada jacket from the Fall 2023 collection and paired it with more toned-down pieces (and again, minimal hair and makeup!) for a look that feels very cool and very Old Prada. (Also, imagine if she wore VS waves with this? Not nearly as cool!)Until next Sunday,
Renée
Hahah i have been thereee , once even bought a whole new outfit for a date i was so keen 🥲🥲🥲 some really good notes, think at the end of the day the best way to not dress too eager is just not to be too eager. i.e. put in effort and look good for you not to try to impress the people u will be seeing
Ahh looking too eager, something I’m quite good at and always regretful of. As a general rule I choose two things (either hair, makeup or outfit) and that helps keep me from being TOO put together but I especially love your “not too trendy” reminder.